


Because of me

by Steffiness



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (IDW Comics), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2018-09-17 18:55:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9338540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steffiness/pseuds/Steffiness
Summary: sometimes turning your back on things means running face first into others





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m total tmnt 2012 trash and usually a capritello shipper but this wound up being capril centric and I’m totally in for these 2 now :)   
> I miss them all- guess I havta keep writing

“Casey!”  
April yells his name down the hall, after catching sight of him standing at his locker.  
Casey slings his dark red backpack over his shoulder, slams his locker and turns and walks away quickly down the school hallway, in the opposite direction-  
shoulder checking and pushing thru the flow of people walking towards him.  
He pulls up the hood on his black, spray paint splattered hoodie and shoves both his hands in its front pouch pocket.  
He pretends to not hear April calling out to him.  
He knows she won’t follow.  
The bell had rung a minute ago signalling it was time to head to class and she wouldn’t be late for class.  
That’s not how she is, even with all that’s gone on, she still follows the rules.  
Or at least she still tries to… and even more so now, or lately.  
It’s just one of the many things he likes about her.  
“Case-…?!”  
He hears her call after him again-  
and he flinches slightly as he hears her voice break as she calls his name.  
But he doesn’t stop.  
He quickly ducks the nearest corner and is gone.  
April just stands in the hallway staring after him, clutching her school books to her chest.  
She knows he had to have heard her, so why was he avoiding her?  
She had been relieved to see him show up to school at all.  
It was Thursday, and he hadn’t been there all week and she and the guys hadn’t seen him since last Friday.  
It meant he was alive at least.  
But wtf was going on?  
He would answer her texts with a one word answer, if at all.  
And he hadn’t shown up for their tutoring sessions or hockey practice.  
The guys hadn’t even noticed his absence until she brought it up.  
Donnie mused and chuckled "so that's why the lair has been so quiet lately. He's probably just being his usual moody self. His favourite hockey team lost or maybe he lost another tooth and is just too embarrassed to be seen."  
Mikey laughs at Donnie "Casey would truly have the bigger gap then bra!"  
"Hey!" Says Donnie as he glares back at Mikey. Mikey sticks out his tongue and laughs.  
"Casey's prolly just being a ‘baby’ bout sumthin, it’ll work itself out." Says Raph.  
Leo calls out Raph on that statement. "You should know and all being the king of that manoeuvre."  
"Don't start with me on this Leo." Says Raph.  
The guys start bickering and she has to interrupt them and remind them of what happened the other times they let Casey go off on his own while in one of his “moods” (he'd tried to take on the Shredder and Hun and Tigerclaw and the rest of Shredder’s henchmen and the Purple Dragons- all on his own… well, till the guys showed up and helped, and true Casey did save the day in the end- and because of him everyone in the city avoided being mutated and mind-controlled, he'd stopped the Newtralizer, and he did take on and kinda survive the Shredder all on his own...)  
but still… he never thinks ahead and takes on way too much…  
but the guys still said to give him space, especially with how much had gone on and what they’d all been thru lately (or to be honest, the last 2+ years).  
April just stands there staring at the quickly emptying hallway.  
The second warning bell rings and 3rd period is starting.  
She looks at the closed door to her biology class and not knowing exactly what she’s doing, she quickly turns and runs back down the hallway to her locker. She puts on her jacket (it’s her dad’s old green army jacket; complete with his original O’Neil name tag, and her favourite black hoodie layered underneath). She shoves her books and other belongings into her dark green messenger bag, throws the strap on over her body crosswise and takes off running, quickly, back down the hallway.  
She knows she has to be quick before Casey's gone and she can’t find him.  
Or she gets caught and all, but mainly she needs to catch Casey.  
Casey stops by the gym locker room for the rest of his stuff: hockey sticks, his pads and gear, extra clothes and stuff. He shoves most of it in an old dark maroon duffle bag, zips it up and lays the sticks down across the top and grabs the handles. He takes his padlock and clips it to one of his belt loops and shuts his locker. He quickly walks out the gym’s side door and right into the schoolyard.  
It’s always so weird to be outside of school when there’s no people and it’s empty and quiet and you’re supposed to be in class to begin with.  
He puts on his headphones, turns up the volume on whatever playlist he had last listened to and starts walking toward the street.  
Where he plans on going now, even he has no idea at the moment.  
He just can’t stay here.  
It was a mistake coming back so soon, or at all… he had wanted to see April but once he saw her he couldn’t do it.  
Not this way.  
This wasn’t the Casey Jones he wanted her to see or know… he turns the music up louder, shuts out the world-  
and just walks.  
April runs out of the side door of school and looks around.  
Her long, bright, orange-red hair blows in front of her face as the wind grabs it and whips it about. She pushes her bangs and hair out of her face as she scans the schoolyard- there’s no sign of Casey.  
She quickly walks toward the street.  
The garbled sound of a school announcement over the loud speakers in the distance behind her, stops her in her tracks.  
She’s never cut school before and is nervous as hell.  
Her dad is going to kill her if, or when, he finds out.  
She shakes that thought off as there’s not much she can do about that now.  
She walks a bit faster and stops at the sidewalk. She looks both ways down the road but doesn’t see him.  
“Dammnit!” She says loudly as she sits down frustratedly on the low brick wall, she pulls up her legs and rests her chin on her knees, wrapping her arms around her shins. She stares off as cars drive past. What the hell could be going on that’s so bad that he's avoiding her? She turns her head to the side and rests her cheek on her knees. She waits another minute or so and then sighs-  
“argh, fine!” she growls under her breath.  
She raises her head, closes her eyes and puts her fingers to her temples- she concentrates  
(sometimes her powers can come in handy).  
She can usually “read” just about everyone else when she really tries (memories, emotions, thoughts, etc) but Casey... Yeah, not so much.  
It’s weird and blurry and blocked, like looking through glass smeared with a thick layer of Vasoline or trying to listen to a conversation thru a tin can phone.  
Sometimes she can get a quick glimpse of things from him: but it’s never a complete picture, just random images or words make it through.  
She concentrates and can just barely sense a presence she thinks is his.  
She wonders if she could track him, she’s never tried… it’s always been easier to track mutants than humans, and with how hard it was to read him to begin with, she doesn’t know.  
She opens her eyes to check that the coast is clear before trying to track him- she sees Casey walk out of the far side street and head down the road away from her.  
Relieved, she jumps down from the wall and walks quickly towards him.  
Casey reaches the main street and just keeps walking. He adjusts the backpack on his shoulder and shifts the rest of his gear to his other hand.  
He’s probably going to get kicked out of school now.  
Join the long line of Jones men who didn't finish school and went on to dead end jobs and a shitey existence; hating themselves and everything and everyone else.  
Not that his old man finished high school... and he had done kinda ok- well till.....  
He shakes his head- he can’t believe he’s thinking about his dad let alone comparing himself to him.  
“fuck that, I’m so much better n’ he is, Casey Jones is gon’ ta be so much more than he ever was.” he mumbles under his breath. He kicks at a rock on the sidewalk as he walks.  
April hears the loud music from his headphones and his mumbling to himself as she gets closer. She wishes she could hear what he was saying.  
She quickens her pace and walks up alongside him.  
She can hear the grit on the sidewalk crunch under her boots as she keeps pace with him and the jangling of his keys on his hip.  
He just keeps walking.  
He picks up his head to look ahead and jumps slightly, startled at her sudden appearance beside him.  
He slows, slightly- but never stops walking and won’t look at her.  
She just keeps pace.  
Annoyed, he finally pulls his headphones off his ears and drapes them around his neck, the music still blaring as they sit there.  
He still won’t look at her.  
Staring straight ahead he finally speaks.  
“What the fuck, April?!” he spits out.  
(he only uses her name when it’s something serious or he’s concerned or he means it and is being truly sincere, otherwise she’s Red…in other words, she’s usually Red)  
“What're ya doing? Go back now 'fore ya get in trouble too!” he says still staring straight ahead.  
“Not gonna happen, I’m going with you.” she says stubbornly.  
“no, you’re not! You don’ wan' ta go down that road, sweetheart.”  
(he knows she does not like being called sweetheart… toots… doll… princess… babe…honey... sweetcakes...)  
“don’t you sweetheart me, mr. I’m too good for all my friends and don’t really answer their texts and don’t show up to school or come round the lair or practice or our study sessions or anything, and had THEM all worried-......and ME-...and what the heck is up with you?!” She says as one huge fast run on annoyed utterance.  
“please just go n' leave me alone.” He pleads.  
“no.” Says April flatly.  
“I don’t need this right now too. n' I don’t need or want ya ta get involved in my shite.” He says.  
“I can help, please just let me. Tell me and...” she now pleads.  
“you can’t help with this!” He blurts out angry and frustrated.  
He walks faster and she has to hurry to keep up.  
She’s had enough and is throughly annoyed with him now.  
She doesn’t usually push shit with him, but this time… She runs up and grabs him by the shoulder and forces him to turn toward her.  
“yo! What the-?!” He says.  
He stops putting his headphones back over his ears and lets them fall back around his neck- he drops all the rest of his gear on the ground and throws his hands up in the air.  
“fine, you wanna do this?! Let’s do this!" He says confrontationally.  
He lifts his head and glares out at her from the shadowy protection of his hood.  
He grabs his hood from the front and pulls it back over his head, letting it fall against his back as he just stands there glowering back at her.  
She gets a good look at him straight on without the shadow of his hood hiding his face.  
He’s a mess.  
-Busted lip  
-cut and huge bruise on his cheekbone that’s being held together with 3 butterfly closures;  
right underneath the still swollen black-eye that has started to heal into a lovely, ugly, yellow-green  
-scabbed over cut on the bridge of his nose  
-more butterfly closures under his eyebrow  
-more scrapes than she wants to count  
She wraps her hands around the strap of her bag and wrings and tugs at it nervously.  
This wasn’t quite what she was expecting.  
Ok, to be honest she didn’t know what to expect, but-  
But this was definitely not what she was expecting  
“there! Ya happy?!” he asks exasperatedly.  
She walks over and softly cups his cheek in her one hand as she gently runs her fingers over the frightening mess on his face.  
He lets his face rest against the palm of her hand as the gentle, soft, cold fingers of her other hand run over his face.  
“what happened? Are you ok?” she asks honestly concerned looking into his eyes.  
He doesn’t answer.  
“Have you been going out vigilante-ing on your own again?!” she asks him still concerned, but apprehensively, and yet now with a twinge of anger as she tries to run through every possibility and figure out what happened and what’s going on.  
He brushes her hands away from his face annoyed and as if to say he’s had enough.  
She steps back from him.  
She hated when he went all solo vigilante.  
I mean she’s used to seeing him a bit worse for wear, that kinda comes with their gig (fighting bad guys, protecting each other, saving the world).  
Not that she liked it, she was tired of tending to wounds and seeing her friends hurt, she worried the most about Casey though.  
He always seemed to take the brunt and get the worst of everything.  
“S'nuthin, I’m fine and no.” he says as he squats down and opens the duffle bag and digs through his gear.  
“um, I don’t think that nothing did that, I’m glad you’re ok. Gonna tell me what happened?” she replies, imitating and mocking his answers and tone with her as she stands there, arms crossed just watching him.  
He pulls out a jacket from his duffle bag and slips it on.  
It’s the one she gave him at the start of winter.  
It’s a black leather jacket with a red hood and liner. The hood has this fluffy white fur trim that reminded him of an eskimo or santa. But then it had these little black devil horns on the hood. He remembered the guys laughing a bit the first time he came around wearing it.  
He couldn’t and wouldn’t admit how much he really liked it.  
But he did.  
It meant so much to him.  
He can only imagine how much time it took her to make it for him.  
She had always asked and joked about him having to be cold in just his usual clothes and hoodie. His reminding her that he was wearing like 3 shirts didn't matter.  
She had made him promise when she gave it to him that he wouldn’t get it all covered in spray paint and grease and stuff like all the rest of his clothes.  
So far, he’s pretty much kept that deal.  
He has gotten some paint n’ crap on it, but nothing like the rest of his gear (I mean he tries- you should see him stop, take off jacket, put it nicely off to the side, leave some awesome art, put jacket back on and quickly relocate before being caught) and he did add a bunch of pins and stuff to the lapel and the liner.  
He had to make it more Casey Jones after all.  
He zips up and puts his backpack back on over both his shoulders this time.  
“please go back ta school. Don’t let me drag ya down like everyone else.”  
“you’re not dragging me down.”  
“yeah… but ya ditched ta follow me. So how did I not drag ya down exactly?”  
“shut up, you’re being an ass.” she says.  
“yeah, so I’m constantly reminded.”  
“what is up with you?”  
“s’nuthin... Sorry, April. Justa bunch of stuff going on an I just really don’t want ta deal with it right now.”  
“that doesn’t sound like you talking.” she says. “you never give up. You’re a fighter. Even when you shouldn’t. Even when it’s just you, you fight back against all odds, no matter how slim or actually non existent. The Casey Jones I know would never give up.”  
“s’not giving up - more just walking away.”  
He says as he starts walking silently away down the road again.  
He feels bad about how he just treated her and spoke to her. He knows she’s just trying to help. He stops and turns and looks at her. Not knowing what he’s doing... or why... He sighs- quietly and softy and almost as if he were giving in to defeat... he whispers  
“wa-... walk with me fer a bit?"  
She nods and quickly joins him and walks silently beside him.  
The weather has taken a turn and the day has gotten super cold and windy and snow flakes have begun to fall as they walk.  
She pulls up the hood on her jacket and then opens the flap of her messenger bag and takes out her yellow scarf and matching gloves and puts them all on.  
They walk for blocks in silence.  
She blows into her hands to try to warm them up.  
“it’s so cold out- wanna find somewhere to stop? Coffee or something? My treat.” she offers. He can hear she's shivering by the slight tremble in her voice.  
He just looks at her and nods. He pulls up his hood and keeps walking.  
She’s glad he actually uses the jacket. She knows he was apprehensive at first after the guys gave him a tough time about it. But she knows Donnie was just jealous and then again she made it for him cause she thought it was totally him and that he’d look cute in it.  
Which he does. (She'd seen a similar jacket on instagram or tumblr or something and it instantly made her brain scream Casey).  
They finally come to a diner, blocks and blocks further down the road.  
They walk in and follow the posted sign telling them to seat themselves- they choose a booth in the far corner.  
The diner is old and outdated by every standard, but warm and cozy and best of all…  
empty  
The old, dingy, orange, vinyl seats are the perfect place to sit and relax for a bit.  
The only waitress in sight reluctantly gets up from the counter and comes by to take their order.  
She’s an older, heavier set lady with greying blonde hair styled the same way she’s probably worn it since back in the 70’s. Back when she was young and probably quite the looker. Now you can just look at her and tell she’s been doing this for far too long and does this not cause she wants to but cause she still has too. Her waitress dress is the same dingy orange as the restaurant booths, but with white accents and yellow piping and ‘a what had once been a white apron’ tied around her waist. None of it had obviously been ironed or washed lately, or the so the story the wrinkles and stains on the front told. But then again it was probably also as old as the diner.  
Her name tag reads Betty.  
And again, back when she was in her 20's she probably was one… Her voice is now gruff from years and years of a 2 pack a day habit and it reminds April of Patty and Selma from the Simpsons.  
Betty stares at them and taps her pen on her pad waiting for them to order-  
2 coffees and a large plate of fries.  
Betty returns quickly with a pot of steaming hot coffee and a bowl full of creamers that she sets down without care, causing the porcelain to clank loudly.  
April and Casey have both begun to settle in, they take off their coats as they begin to finally thaw out in the warmth of the diner.  
Betty takes a good look at Casey sitting there, and shakes her head in distaste and annoyance at his ragged appearance.  
She flips over and hastily fills their mugs, dripping coffee all over.  
She goes to leave but turns back and sets the pot of coffee down.  
“you guys look like you may need this.” she says with a concerned yet disapproving smile as she pats April on the forearm and then glares back at Casey.  
“thanks?” says April sarcastically and more as an annoyed question than anything- rather chafed at Betty.  
Casey grabs his mug and holds it between his hands warming his frozen fingers and just staring into the blackness of his coffee.  
He watches April as she readies her drink. He’s known her long enough now to know her usual-  
which he always teases her about- saying she puts so much crap in it that it’s not even coffee anymore. 2 sugars, 3 creams... except when she’s stressed out about something, then it’s 3 sugars.  
He watches as she adds the creams and then the 2 sugars, and then reaches for the 3rd.  
She stirs it all together, the spoon clinking gently against the mug almost musically. She puts the spoon on the saucer next to her and just holds the mug between her hands for a moment, warming her fingers as well.  
He notices her nail polish is chipped- as if she's been chewing at her nails.  
He wonders how she's really doing?  
He's afraid to ask.  
She holds on to guilt and stuff like an anchor slowly pulling her down- but she's afraid to let go for she might drift away otherwise.  
Is she slipping... drifting... -drowning?  
Even if she was, he doesn't know if there’s anything he could do to help her… it took all of them last time and they still almost lost... and Donnie...  
She doesn't use her ‘powers’ so much now... Or anymore, at least that’s what she tells them all.  
Or at least she tries not to, they just happen sometimes now- out of her control… but she won’t tell them that.  
April lifts her mug and takes a sip.  
Casey looks back down at his mug- he’s taken his coffee black ever since he watched some episodes of Twin Peaks on Netflix years ago. There was something about Agent Dale Cooper he liked and ever since then he’s taken his coffee ‘black as midnight on a moonless night’.  
April lets go of her mug and reaches over and dumps in a 4th packet of sugar, adding the empty wrapper to the small pile of trash she has in front of her.  
He likes how she always pulls the lids off all the creamers and stacks them neatly inside of each other, putting the sugar packet wrappers inside the top one.  
She closes her eyes and takes another sip.  
Casey raises his mug and takes a sip. The coffee is extra hot and not very good (not 4 sugars bad though, and he’s made her a way worse cup of joe before- hell that would probably be every pot he made while they lived up at the farmhouse).  
That was one thing he and Donnie had always had in common, the coffee didn’t need to be good- just hot, strong and never ending.  
He sighs.  
He’s in unknown territory now.  
Betty returns and sets down a plate of fries for them along with their $7.95 tab scribbled on a green and white ticket and turns and walks away without a word.  
Casey makes some room on the plate and pours out a pile of ketchup topped with some dashes of Cholulah for them. (everything was better with a little spice)  
They both dig in. It helps stall the silence cause of the whole no eating with your mouth full thing. But this is the quietest she’s ever know Casey to be.  
Actually... she’s never know Casey to be quiet.  
The world was literally ending, being sucked into a black hole around them.  
They could only watch as they lost everything and everyone and he was still jabbering on in typical Casey Jones fashion.  
Whatever was going on or what he was dealing with, or facing now, had to be really bad.  
“wanna talk about it?” she finally asks him quietly.  
He shakes his head no, wipes his hands on his napkin and tosses it on the table in front of him.  
Casey slides his body down and leans his head back onto the back of the booth and closes his eyes.  
He shoves his hands back into his hoodie uni-pocket.  
She just watches him and then finishes the last few fries, pushing the empty plate away to the edge of the table.  
He’s obviously not going to say anything right now.  
She reaches into her bag and takes out her math book, a notebook and a pencil and starts to do her math homework.  
After a few minutes April looks over at him and sighs silently, as she rests her chin on her hand and just watches him.  
At least he’s safe and warm and has eaten something (she feels more like the group mom when she has thoughts like that, than anything else- she is the only girl and the voice of reason 80+% of the time as well but-  
truth was none of them had a mom… her, Casey, the guys……... Karai...)  
she kinda took on and fills that role and void sometimes. And sometimes not by choice.  
She looks at his face and wonders how he got hurt this time and why he wouldn’t tell her?  
What was he hiding from her?  
He usually likes to reminisce and regale everyone with stories about his hockey injuries and tales of glory on the ice… or how he’d kicked Purple Dragon ass...  
It kills her inside to see him hurt.  
She remembers waiting for him and Raph to make it back to her place when the Kraang invasion began, and how relieved she was the moment the 2 of them burst into the apartment- she'd run to Casey and grabbed him with the biggest hug, truly believing she’d probably lost him.  
She remembers sitting next to him (she was afraid to touch him and hurt him more), keeping vigil, hoping and praying he’d be ok after Tigerclaw threw him off the roof of a 4 story building last year.  
Hard to believe he actually looked slightly worse that time- though it looks like this has already had a few days to heal. She shudders to think about what he looked like right after this happened.  
But somehow this felt sooo much worse.  
She sees that his mop of thick, black bangs have gotten so long and unruly, they go into his eyes way more than usual- or ever, even with his dirty, old bandana holding them back on his forehead.  
She’s never seen him without that, now that she thinks on it.  
The back of his hair has gotten so long now too, that if she had kept her hair the same length as she used to, he may almost have her beat. He could easily rock a pony now if he wanted.  
She could probably even braid the ends (she smiles and giggles silently a bit at this thought as it reminds her of Hiccup and Astrid, and her mind instantly imagines her and Casey dressed like vikings... ).  
She notices for the first time just how many freckles he has, some of them so noticeable they even show thru all the bruising.  
How did she never see them before?  
She feels her cheeks warm as she blushes slightly, as she looks at him.  
She quickly turns her attention back to her math.  
He still just lays there with his head back and his eyes closed.  
Eventually he raises his head and looks over at her.  
He watches her facial expressions change and her brow furrow as she concentrates and tries to figure out an extra hard equation.  
Her bangs keep drifting into her eyes forcing her to unconsciously keep pushing them aside or blowing them away. She's let her hair grow out longer than he's ever seen before. It's down well below her shoulders, almost mid back. She usually pulls it back in a ponytail but today she has it loose with just her headband holding it back. He likes the way the light reflects off of it, it looks like a river of glowing embers falling down her back when she moves and the light shifts.  
She feels eyes on her and looks up at him.  
“you are such a nerd.” he says smiling at her with his smirky, gap-toothed grin as he sits back up.  
“in case you forgot, Jones.”  
(she only seems to call him that when she’s annoyed at him- which is a lot of the time).  
“I missed class. I’m not about to get in trouble for not doing my homework too.” she says tapping her pencil on her book. She goes back to the equation- eventually she continues.  
“you’ve missed a lot of school… what’ve you been up to?” She asks him.  
He just rolls his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

“you’ve missed a lot of school… what’ve you been up to?” She asks him.   
He just rolls his eyes.  
“You’re going to get kicked out you know… school... or do you even care? You're gonna get kicked off the team too. There goes hockey... there goes any chance of a scholarship, of pro hockey... what's your dad think of that?”   
“Ha! My da? Really? That man doesn’t care bout anyone or anything but hisself.   
‘Cept maybe my lil sis” says Casey topping off his coffee and staring into the mug avoiding her eyes.  
“I’m sure that’s not true.” says April.   
“really-? cause uh, the reason I’ve missed ‘a lot of school’ as ya put it is causa of that man.” he spits out with an anger she's not sure she's ever seen from him before.   
He instantly regrets the utterance as he can feel her eyes burning into him trying to figure out what that meant.   
He looks up at her with his deep, dark, brown eyes fixed on her, he sighs hard. He knows he’s gonna have to explain at some point… might as well be now.   
“i’m kinda surprised ya haven’t heard bits n’ pieces or just figgered some of it out already on yer own… or just kinda mind melded it outta my brain…” he says.   
She goes to say something but he cuts her off as he reluctantly and hesitantly points to his face.   
“this………. " He hesitates again before finally continuing. "Fuck........this is causa my old man. Drunk as usual, n’ pissed i’d dumped the resta his stocks, n’ he decided to take all his frustrations out on me th' other night. An' I just stood there n’ took it like always… cause he’s still my ol' man, n’ I wo--- can’t hit the bastard back…” he says as he stops for a moment.  
“So don’ try n’ tell me he cares... cares 'bout himself, my lil sis, his booze, his gambling... whatever other crazy, and prolly illegal shite he's pulling at the moment to try and pay the bills, n’ Casey Jones just gets in the way of all of that.” he says hurt and angry.   
He’s not one for shares- and this was a huge share.   
And not something she ever woulda guessed or expected.   
She had no idea.   
She always guessed that his family situation probably wasn’t the greatest, I mean with the little she knew of it… but-  
Her heart skips and firmly lodges in her throat…   
she had absolutely no idea-   
she can’t even begin to imagine-   
oh god… her breath hitches  
“Case, I had no-” she says but he cuts her off mid sentence.   
“ya ever wonder why I never introduced ya to him or my sis? Why I never invited ya ‘round my place ta hang or study?” he says. “… My dad hates me cuz I remind him of him and everthin' he had and now doesn't, n' he blames me fer everything bad in his life. Cuz it's easier than realisin and admittin it's all on him...” his voices cracks and breaks as he continues   
“He even blames me fer my mo-...”   
he can’t even finish what he was saying.  
He averts his eyes and she can see a slight quiver in his chin and his jaw muscles tighten as he grits his teeth and clenches his jaw trying to hold back the tears she sees welling up in his eyes.   
April just stares at him. Her concern turns to anger. How could his dad do that to him?! Why would Casey just sit there and take that?!  
He never really talked about his family and when he did it was in the vaguest of terms. Now that she thinks back on it, he never even mentioned them when they were at the farmhouse all those months or when they were in hiding at the pizza shoppe when they snuck back into NY after the Kraang invasion or even when they were in space after the Earth was destroyed. And he's never said more than a few words about his mom. She never pressed, she never really spoke about hers either. Especially since the farmhouse when she got to lose her mom all over again...   
It’s been harder for the two of them (April and Casey) since they got back- again.   
I mean first they spent over 4 months, just the 6 of them at the farmhouse, totally on their own. 6 teenagers (ok 4 teenage, mutant turtles- who were ninjas, and then her and Casey)-all on their own for months and months, unsupervised as a rag-tag family. And they did it; they survived and grew and matured and thrived each in their own personal ways, but then as a group, as a support team for each other- as a family.   
Then it was the 6 of them plus Master Splinter hiding out in the pizza shoppe when they went to take back NY from the Kraang.  
Then there was the 6 of them again, off in space (yes, space) for months and months, before coming back to Earth (and saving ALL of the Earth and EVERYBODY).   
And both times after having lost everything.  
Every time coming back it’s been hardest on April and Casey though… after all that’s gone on it was back to life- school, parents (well Dads), rules…   
The guys just went back to their ‘usual’ life with Splinter.   
April and Casey not so much... They’d grown and changed, matured, experienced and lived through things most people never would and could never understand… but most people in their lives still knew them just as they were before.   
Not as they were now.   
Not as the people they'd become and were now.   
Casey wipes the tears from his eyes.  
Her cheeks flush with anger.  
“you gotta tell someone.” she says flat out.   
“yeah, I ain’t gonna do that.” he says.  
“he can’t get away with this.” she replies.  
“what’dya think’s gonna happen if’n I talk? Me n’ my sis get pulled n’ put in the system n’ I never see er’ again. I’m almost 18- they ain’t gonna try to keep us together… ”   
“think about her then, do you want her to see this happen to you… or what happens when he hurts her?”  
“he’d never hurt her… n’ if’n he ever tried I’d kill im’ first.”  
“this has to stop, you gotta do something.” she says angrily.   
“ya think I’m not?! I’m doin’ what I gotta do… keeping what’s left a my family together like I promised my mum I’d do... Now I’m doin' what I gots to- keepin botha my families together.”  
“Case-” she says with a look that cuts him.  
“don’t, ok, Ape. I don’ want ta hear it. Casey Jones don’t want yer pity.” he says.  
“it’s not pity… this can’t.. I can’t… all those times…” she says with a quick gasping inhale as she starts to fully comprehend…  
“it wasn’t the purple dragons… or hockey… or …”  
Her angers grows 10-fold.  
“how many times was it all just a cover… a lie?!” she asks, the apples of her cheeks red and white and splotchy with anger. Her eyes pleading for an answer.   
But he won’t say a word.  
“how many?!” she asks again.  
He starts to put back on his jacket.   
“I should get going. Thanks fer the grub.” he stands up and starts to put his backpack back on his back.   
She forces herself to calm slightly.  
"Stop. Don't go... I'm sorry. Stay. Sit." She pleads.   
"Nah, s'all good Red. I got this."  
“Do you have somewhere else you can stay?”  
“Safe-?” she asks.  
He just looks at her.   
“gonna invite me ta yer place?" He asks raising his eyebrow.   
"i’m sure Kirby would love ta see me, the punk-kid who likes his daughter, walk through the door looking like this- as you ask him if I can spend the night, right after ya have to explain ya cut class to be with me.” he says.   
She’s always known Casey had a thing for her, hell he asks her out all the time. But this is the first time he’s actually said anything straight out about liking her.  
“Casey Jones has got this- don’t ya worry- .” he says.  
“don’t tell me not to worry- how can I not worry now… and more, go to the lair. The guys and Splinter will let you stay there. I’ll talk to them. If I say something they won’t ask and you won’t have to say anything.” she says. “I’ve stayed there more times than I can recall and for weeks on end.”   
“I’m sure they’d really get a kick outta Casey Jones crashing at their place n' this state. I can hear Raph n’ Donnie now…” he says.  
“they won’t, let me call Leo…” she picks up her phone.   
Casey quickly grabs the phone from her hand and puts it back down on the table.   
“don’t...- April...- Please…- just don’t…” he says.   
he pulls up his hood, grabs his stuff and starts to walk away.  
She just stares after him.   
He stops at the door, turns and calls back to her.  
“I’ll see ya ‘round, Red. Laters...” he waves as he pushes out through the door and disappears from sight.   
Betty looks up and shakes her head and goes back to folding napkins at the bar counter.  
April just watches helplessly. He and the guys were there for her at her worst moment(s)- when everything fell apart and she slipped and lost herself to her "sith”, her ‘dark side’ as Casey jokingly called it. Cause that's how he deals with what went down. The power that overwhelmed her and took over and she willingly let overcome and rule her... Evil April... Dark April... (true there was Zar-Naron's influence/possession) but she knew and had the choice and part of her willingly chose to not fight back.   
They'd never really talked about it... what happened. What she did to all of them. What she did to Don-  
She is snapped back from her thoughts as her phone buzzes on the table alerting her that she has a text.   
It's from her Dad.

Hey sweetie, how’s your day?

Fine, Dad. How about yours? 

Covering a last minute group session for Dr. Atchison   
You’re going to be on your own for dinner and   
Probably till bedtime. You be ok? Need anything?

no, Dad. I’ll be fine. See you later! xoxo 

She sighs, she’s got a reprieve for now as he must not yet know of her cutting school.  
She shoves her books and stuff back in her bag and throws a $10 down on the table. She puts back on her jackets and gloves and scarf. She slings her bag around her body and quickly leaves the diner.   
The clock on her phone says it’s 2:03pm and that means it’s almost time for school to be getting out; but with the dark cloud cover it’s much darker out and feels much later.   
She pulls her scarf up to cover her mouth and nose as she begins to start walking. The snow flurries have started up again. They are the large flakes that seem to defy gravity as they slowly fall to the ground. She loves how they seem to fall at different speeds as she watches them fall in front of her. The snow barely sticks to the ground as the pavement is still warm from the slightly higher temps of last week. She’s glad as she had no idea it was going to snow so she didn’t wear snow boots, just her regular black uggs.  
She starts walking toward home.   
After a few minutes she can make out Casey walking in the distance ahead of her. She wonders what he’s up to and where he’s going?  
She knows there'll be hell to pay if he spots her or finds out- but she decides to follow, she slows her pace a bit to make sure she stays out of sight.   
She keeps her distance and follows as he winds his way through the city.   
The wind has died down thankfully but her legs still feel like ice beneath her dark green leggings.   
Casey walks over to an alley between two buildings and ducks in and drops his stuff down by a dumpster. She ducks into the doorway of an empty building with a huge for lease sign in the front window just around the corner from him.   
He takes his phone from his pocket, presses a button and holds the phone to his ear. She can barely hear him.  
“hey, sweetie! How’s my girl?” he asks. After a moment he continues. “that’s great! is dad there?” silence.. “No? Ms. Romano is with you. Got’cha.” he shoves his phone back in his pocket and quickly runs to the front door and disappears inside. April just watches and waits.  
Casey opens the front door and runs in and up the stairs taking two at a time (not hard with his super long legs). He knocks on the door of apartment 205 and the door opens. A young girl with straight blonde hair and big blue eyes opens the door. “Cay-thee!” she yells with her adorable little kid lisp, as she rushes him and hugs his legs. He bends down and hugs her back. “how’s my girl?” he asks her. “fine, what happened you face, where you go?” She asks in one quick burst, curious and chiding at the same time, as they go inside.   
The place smells great, that means Ms. Romano is in the kitchen cooking.   
“hey, Ms. Romano.” calls Casey.   
She walks out wiping her hands on her apron. “Casey dear, how are you?” she asks him apprehensively as she looks at him and then grabs him and hugs him... hard and tight.   
He scrunches up at her touch but doesn’t pull away.   
“i’m doing ok.” he says.   
She pulls back and holds him at arms length by the shoulders as she looks him over, she shakes her head and her eyes water up as she looks into his eyes. She knows better and it breaks her heart. She changes the subject.   
“do you ever eat, you are so skinny?” she says. “stay, dinner is almost ready. Angel should be here soon too. ”  
“nah, I’m fine. Just here to see my lil’ shadow.” he says as he scoops up his little sister and starts to tickle her. She laughs and wiggles in his arms and begs him to stop. He does and just holds her. “I mith you.” she says with the same lil kid lisp. “I mith you too.” he repeats with the same lisp (not hard cause of all his missing teeth), as he leans forward bumping his forehead against hers and rubbing his nose against her nose. He puts her back down.   
“you and your dad are too much alike... Hot heads the both of you!” says ms. Romano scoldingly as she wags her finger at him.   
She’s a much older lady, Italian thru and thru. Her hair is still dark yet flecked with some greys- worn short with thick, loose curls. She’s your typical grandma type, a bit overweight and with no fashion sense. But her smile was infectious and her cooking amazing. She and her granddaughter (who was only a year or 2 younger than Casey) had lived down the hall from them for as long as Casey could remember. They looked after Shadow while Arnold Jones Sr. “worked” or when Casey wasn’t around to, or when his dad just wasn't "able" to watch her.  
“you’ll both cool down soon and make things better. And stop all of this...” she says gently patting him on the cheek and then his forearm before she turns and walks away.   
Casey looks at her and then at his little sister sitting on the floor in the living room playing tea party with her dolls. “yeah… we’ll see” he says noticing the empty whiskey bottle on the floor by the big recliner. Ms. Romano comes back over and grabs his hand. “take this, it’s not much, but till things get back to normal…” he opens his hand and looks at the small wad of rolled bills. “I can’t take this, you n’ Angel need it way more n’ I do.” he says looking at her.   
“I feel so bad about all of this. You and your father…” she says crossing herself with her knuckle, kissing it and then holding her hand up in the air to god.   
Angel came to live with her grandma (Ms. Romano) after her mom dumped her for drugs almost 10 years ago now… they haven’t heard from her since then.   
Prolly why Ms. Romano has a bit of a soft spot for Casey and his sis’ and their sitch.   
“I should go fore he gets back or finds out I was here.” says Casey. He walks over to his sister and squats down next to her. “I gotta go, i’ll be back soon, I promise.” he says as he ruffles her hair. She lifts up her teddy bear and has it kiss Casey on the cheek. He laughs “our secret… don’t tell dad I was here, ok.” he says. She nods. He stands up and walks to the door. He stops and looks back. He sighs and closes the door and walks back down the hall.   
It’s been about 10 minutes when April hears the door open and he comes back out. He goes back to the alley and grabs his stuff. A rapping sound stops him and he looks up. A small, young blonde-haired girl, holding a teddy bear up to the window, peers back out. She’s just tall enough to see over the window sill. She sees him see her and waves. He waves back and blows her a kiss. She turns and is gone from the window. April just watches. This must be where he lives. And that’s his little sister, and guessing from what she could see she couldn’t be more than 5 or 6. Her heart breaks. He must care for and love her very much. Anger burns inside her. She wants Casey’s dad to hurt as much as he’s hurt him.   
Casey starts walking back down the street.   
She follows him.   
After following for awhile she knows where she is again and soon they pass by her apartment.  
He stops out front and looks up at her place. He pulls out his phone and stands there staring at it like he’s debating something and he is.   
All he wanted to do was sit in the diner with her all night; she doesn’t really judge him, she may scold the hell out of him and put him in his place, hell 99% of the time she’s right- but she’s always there for him, she’s his only real friend, well there are the guys too… but-   
But he knows better, he shakes his head, puts his phone away and keeps going.   
Her heart breaks yet again and her anger grows…   
She keeps following and thinks she knows where he’s going and is glad.   
This is the way to the lair.   
She’d feel so much better if he went there.   
She could stop worrying.   
He’d be safe, the guys would make sure of that.   
She’d make sure of that.   
But then he takes a detour and heads down a different street and down a back alley. She watches as he shoves his stuff down an old bent sewer grate along the edge of the road and then slides himself in feet first and out of sight.   
She runs over and waits a bit before she decides to try and slide herself in. She shoves her gloves and scarf back in her bag and gets down on the ground and begins to slide back into the grate.   
It’s a super tight fit and the metal grating scrapes her stomach and digs into her back as she pushes herself further in and down. All she can think as she slowly wiggles in is how skinny he must truly be to have no troubles squeezing thru there so fast and easy.   
She finally manages to get herself all the way in and pulls her bag in after her. She struggles hanging there for a moment before finding the thin, metal rebar ladder on the wall beside her, the metal is cold and rough and she quickly clambers onto it and hurries down.  
She splashes into the shallow water at the bottom. She stops and listens and follows the echo of his faint footsteps slowly and carefully. It warms up a bit as she goes further and further down and into the sewer and she’s glad. It’s not as warm as the lair but way better than street level.   
The ground dries up and the ceiling gets higher and higher as she keeps following. She sees a faint light up ahead and eventually enters into a huge, old underground switchyard from the original subway system. It’s obviously not been used in a very long time and everything is covered in a thick layer of dirt and dust and cobwebs. A rat runs over her foot and makes her jump back.   
Casey is afraid of rats.   
He’s gotten better around Master Splinter but you can still see his unease sometimes when he’s around him or when Splinter appears suddenly.   
She knows he must really have no where else to go if he’s hiding out here. There are a bunch of old broken down subway trains that were never removed when this line was shut down ages ago. She thinks she remembers running through these tunnels trying to escape the Kraang with the guys. She slinks over to the far wall and behind one of the subway cars. She brushes the grime off of one of the windows and peeks in but doesn’t see anything other than empty seats and an old shopping trolley. She goes to the next car in the row and is met with much the same. She stops and listens. She can hear the muffled sound of music. She creeps quietly further down the row of cars and sees a faint light shining through the door of the last subway car. She should have guessed this was the one. It’s been fully spray painted down the side with a bright colourful mural and she sees his ‘CJ’ tag in the upper corner. She sneaks up to the far door on the car and peers in. She sees a lantern glowing brightly and his bags tossed onto one of the rows of seats. A pile of comics sit on the floor and on top of a boombox next to a bed haphazardly made of a pile of blankets. It looks like this isn’t the first time he’s lived down here. He’s always seemed to know his way around parts of the sewers too well before. She starts to think back to all the times he stayed out late vigilante-ing, or was at the lair, or was at the rink. Was it he didn’t want to go home or he didn’t have one to go to or… was he avoiding his dad… all those other times… they weren’t all hockey injuries or run-in’s with the purple dragons...- she has to stop the thoughts- she can't deal right now.   
She sees Casey sitting on one of the rows of seats with his legs up on the row across from him. She’s shocked to see he has his text books out next to him and is trying to do school work.   
She knows that school is totally not his thing.   
But he’s trying.   
She wishes she could help him more.   
Make it easier for him somehow.   
He’s done a bit better since she started tutoring him. He just barley passed trig and managed to stay on the hockey team last year.   
Not that she was the best at some of it either.   
She did sign up to be a tutor to help earn extra credit to boost her own grades as well.   
There was a time when she was flunking trig too.   
She’d never admit it to Casey but the only reason she got better at trig and algebra and bio and chem and stuff was cause Donnie had helped her.   
She remembers the huge grin Donnie got on his face when she asked him if he wouldn’t mind helping her.   
Casey gets annoyed and throws his history book to the ground with a loud thud.   
He runs his hands up under his bangs and bandana and pushes them up and off his face frustratedly. His bandana falling to the floor behind him. He rubs his fingers on his forehead and his temples and then much like at the diner he leans his head back and closes his eyes. She’s never seen him without his prized bandana holding back his bangs. He runs his hands up and through his bangs again and pushes them all the way back with the rest of his hair. He still just lies there with his head back.   
Even with just the light from the lantern she can see huge, white scars running up the side and across his forehead into his hairline.   
He rubs his head again as if he’s in pain.  
How did he get that?   
And is that why he always wore that ratty old thing?   
Again he was never one for sharing much but she had no idea that was there.   
How did she have no idea?   
There was the small scar that ran thru his eyebrow and disappeared under his bangs- but she’d always guessed it was just from some hockey injury, and never asked.   
These others were way more serious.   
They woulda taken stitches to close up.   
And a lot of them.   
Fuck, she hopes that was from hockey and not some run-in with his dad...  
He sits up and shakes his head and goes and flops on his makeshift bed. He grabs a comic and starts to read.   
She hates seeing him like this. Alone. In pain.   
A fire is lit inside her that she forces deeper in and back for now, an ember hidden away. Saved...   
She ducks down and sits on the ground leaning up against the subway car. She reaches into her bag and pulls out her phone and texts. 

You be safe. Night Casey 

She quickly sits back up and peeks in the window. He’s still laying there reading his comic. She can hear his phone’s text alert. He gets up and goes over to his jacket and digs in the front pocket and pulls out his phone. He looks at it and then goes back over and sits on his bed. He types something and soon after her phone buzzes. 

nite april...thanx fer being there n stuff 

He sits there and smiles. He puts his phone down on his pillow and goes and grabs his journal. He climbs into his bed and pulls up a blanket. He opens his well-worn, oh-so-loved composition book and starts writing.   
April puts her phone back in her bag and sneaks away.  
She doesn't like it but he's safe and this is better than nothing for now.   
If she thought getting down through the grate was hard, getting back up was even worse. She was almost too short to pull herself up and out and especially with such little clearance in the grate opening. For a moment she actually fears she may be stuck but she manages to wiggle up and out. She quickly runs back home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here’s another short chapter :)

It’s well past 5 by the time she opens the door to the apartment she lives in with her dad above a second hand antique shoppe. Thankfully he isn’t home yet. She turns on the lights and sets her stuff down on the couch. The answering machine (yes, they still had a land line. Her dad wouldn't get rid of it) is flashing that there’s a new message. She presses the play button, it’s a message from school asking about her absence.  
She quickly erases it.  
Sometimes her dad’s cell phone gets bad reception at work. Maybe they didn’t reach him.  
She hopes.  
She makes herself a sandwich and one for her dad that she covers with cling film and puts in the fridge. She sits on the couch eating and finishing up her schoolwork. Or trying to. She’s too distracted to concentrate and soon she tosses her book down in frustration much like Casey did.  
She gives up and packs everything away in her bag. She takes a shower and puts on her jams. Her dad still isn’t home. She pulls out her phone and texts.

Heading to bed. Night Dad, love you!

You ok, it’s still early?

Yes, just tired. Long day.  
Left a sandwich in the fridge for you.

Thank you dear. I’m just packing up here. I’ll be home soon. Goodnight.

Night Dad

She goes into her room and closes the door. She grabs her journal and lies on her bed writing and sketching in it. She feels helpless and lost. Not something she’s used to or good at dealing with. She can take on the kraang, the Foot, Karai, Shredder, the Triceratons, hell... Any and all other manner of baddy and mutant- but has no idea how to deal with everything from today.  
She still hasn't dealt with her own mutant issues… her powers. Who or what she is or what she’ll become. Every time Donnie studied her DNA and found something new, or her powers manifested in a new way; it broke her a little bit more inside.  
At least she has a new focus for now.  
But she doesn’t know what to do about Casey and his sister. She knows he’s right. They’d get taken away… probably split up. She’d probably never see him again. But how can she do what he asked and do nothing?!  
She wonders how Casey is doing? She wants to call or text him but she wouldn’t even know what to say. She grabs her iPod and puts on some music and lies back. She falls asleep but it’s fitful and her mind races even in her slumber.  
Casey fell asleep writing in his journal. He wakes up suddenly and grabs his phone. It’s 1:18am. His heart sinks a bit as he was kinda hoping there was a missed call or a text waiting for him from April. She'd been hounding him the last few days. But no… he gets it. He wouldn’t know how to talk her if she’d dropped the shite on him that he’d dumped on her. He remembers how awkward it was to try to talk to her after the whole “not-her-mom-mutant-thing” and the "dark April-you-kinda-actually-killed-donnie-thing".  
They’ve both had a lot of crap in their lives.  
But a lot of the same shite and struggles. But his wasn’t over (not that hers was either) and there was a bunch more from his past that he wasn’t ready to address or let her or the guys know.  
Those parts hurt the most.  
They were the things that made him ‘the Good, the Bad, and the Casey Jones” that he is…  
He pulls up another blanket. It’s gotten really cold down below in the sewers tonight. Lonely... empty... quiet  
He lays back down and drifts asleep, fretful and restless as well.  
April wakes up in the morning to the alarm on her phone going off.  
6:00am.  
She shuts off the alarm, no word from Casey. Again not that she was expecting any, just kinda hoping. She wonders if he’ll show at school today? She gets up and gets dressed and goes into the kitchen for breakfast.  
Kirby is already up and sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal.  
“Good morning, April.”  
“morning, Dad.”  
She pours herself a bowl of cereal and fixes a mug of coffee and sits down next to him.  
“everything alright?” he asks her. "You look tired."  
“yeah.” she says  
“you sure? Something up? Wanna talk about it?”  
"It's fine dad" she says as she eats a big spoonful of cereal.  
He just looks at her. She hated when he went all psychologist on her. And much like her, she knows he won't back down. He keeps looking at her questioningly.  
“It's just- it's just a friend dealing with some stuff and I don’t know how to help them.”  
“is it one of the turtles? Or Casey?” He asks her, making a bit of a face as he says Casey’s name.  
She really doesn’t have any other friends.  
She used to have Irma… now it’s just the guys.  
And mainly Casey.  
She knows her dad is wary of Casey. Well of everything and everyone, to be honest. Her dad’s a huge wimp :P  
Kirby doesn’t know what to think about or how to process all the times she was off on her own with all the guys. I mean he’s grateful for the times Splinter and the guys took her in and looked out for her and protected her and saved her.  
But! His little girl and 5 teenage boys. He trusts her… but… still- April alone with 5 teenage boys! Especially that punk Jones kid… Kirby knows how much Casey likes his little girl. Kirby was there when she ran and hugged Casey, thinking she’d lost him when the Kraang invaded and Casey called himself “her man”! (he knows she’s growing up and he’ll have to let go, but Kirby’d still like to think that he’s the only man in her life).  
And even though Kirby knows better deep down, he still thinks Casey's mainly just some punk kid.  
Which is partly true.  
April’s seen Kirby staring out the window watching and waiting when she comes home at night after having been out with Casey.  
"Is there some way I can help?" He asks  
“it’s fine dad.” she says.  
“you wanna tell me about missing school yesterday?” he inquires almost nonchalantly.  
She looks at him in shock...  
“yes, I know.”  
“dad, I promise you I had to. I did it for a good reason.”  
“I know you well enough to know that, and I’m going to trust your judgement. But I worry about you enough as it is. You’re all I have left. Promise me if you’re going to do something like that again that you’ll at least let me know what’s going on and you're ok. I don’t think I could take another call like that.”  
“i’m so sorry, dad.”  
“and you’re grounded for the next week.”  
“yes, dad.”  
She gets up and hugs him.  
“so what’s going on with Casey?” he asks her. She just looks at him and goes to say something but closes her mouth and shakes her head no.  
“i’m not naive, sweetie. sure you don’t want to talk about it? I may be old, and uncool but sometimes I may just know things and might be able to help.”  
“not with this.” she says  
“is this something I should be worried about?” he asks, sensing it's more than she's letting on. “is it drugs?”  
“no, dad!”  
“is there some new big bad thing out there you’re fighting? Is it after you?” he asks starting to get panicky.  
“no, it’s ok dad.” she promises and hugs him again.  
“is he asking or trying to get you to do something you’re not ready for or don’t want to do?”  
She pushes away from him and her eyes go wide and her mouth just drops open in utter horror and she can’t find words!  
“I know how much he likes you and I know you like him too, I just want to make sure that you’re… ...that the two of you are not getting into or doing something you’re not ready for or are getting in over your heads- and if you are, that you’re being safe...” he says.  
April blushes beet red  
“OH MY GOD-! dad!”  
“just saying, sweetie… I know I’m your dad but you can talk to me or tel-”  
“NO! Dad- no…”  
She quickly clears her place and hurries to leave the room- she needs to get ready for school anyways. Plus there’s no way she could handle another line of questioning or continuing that conversation with her dad…  
Casey’s phone alarm wakes him.  
He turns it off and flops back down.  
He knows he needs to show at school today. Time to face the music and find out where he stands; he knows school won’t kick him out that easy- but the team is a different story...  
He slept in his clothes as usual, so getting ready is not a huge deal, he throws off his blankets and gets up and stretches. He sniffs his shirt and puts on some deodorant and then quickly pulls on a jacket. He can see his breath in the air in front of him this morning it’s so cold. He goes to the little mirror he has and fixes his hair as best he can- meaning he runs his fingers thru it and shoves his bandana back down over the whole mess. He fixes his bangs into his signature devil’s lock. He grabs a bottle of water and his toothbrush and brushes the teeth he has left. He opens the door of the subway car and rinses and spits out on the ground. He goes back in and sits down and puts on his chucks. He grabs his books and stuff off the bench and floor and shoves them in his backpack. He pulls up his hood, grabs his phone, backpack and a baseball bat (can never be too cautious) and heads out. It’s even colder outside in the tunnels. He shuts the door and locks it with the padlock from his belt loop. He notices something on the ground by the side of the subway car. He walks over and picks it up.  
It's a yellow scarf.  
Its April’s yellow scarf… the first one she made after she learned to knit or crochet or some shite. He remembers how proud she was of it, flaws and all.  
Argh!…  
Grr!  
He’s instantly annoyed and angry at her. He can’t believe she followed him!  
“FUCK!” he yells, kicking the edge of the subway car… he figured she woulda rushed home, what with cutting class and all… nope, not April! He shoulda known better, he knows her better… that’s so like her… How didn’t he fuckin notice her?!  
He always forgets she's also a full fledged kunoichi now... damn ninjas...  
He slides his body down and sits leaning against the train car, his legs bent. He grabs his face in his hands and just sits there, elbows propped on his knees.  
He bangs his head back against the train car repeatedly.  
How much did she see? How much does she know now?  
“fuck!” he slams his elbows back against the subway car. He stands up and punches the car again with the ball of his hand. He holds her scarf in his fists. It’s soft. Like her. He raises it up and smells it.  
It smells like her. Vanilla… strawberries… powder…  
He sighs.  
He’s gonna have a lot more explaining to do. He knew it’d come to it one day. Now is not the time though…  
He drops his hood back and wraps the scarf around his neck, he opens the zipper on his coat and tucks the ends of the scarf into his jacket and zips back up. He pulls back up his hood and starts walking out down the tunnel.  
He reaches the exit and peers out of the grating making sure it’s clear- he climbs up and out. He puts his backpack on over both shoulders, bat strapped to the side, and with that he takes off walking towards school.

April walks to school. Her mind everywhere and anywhere but where she needs it. The day is cold but the sun is up and feels good when it can actually reach her as she walks between the tall buildings.  
She still can’t believe her dad… she and Casey?! They’re not even a couple. They’ve never even been on a date, let alone kiss- how could he think they might be doing anything more?! She feels her cheeks get red again as she walks.  
Maybe it woulda been better if she’d just said yes it was drugs… she giggles to herself and keeps walking. Not that it’d matter if they were hooking up and not being safe. I mean if she were ever to, of course she would be safe. But it’s not like she’d get knocked up... Donnie’s last round of tests had shown that... that she wasn’t human enough to... She has to stop. She doesn’t want to think about that right now. On top of everything else she can’t deal with that now too.  
She walks quietly and slowly and finally gets to school and drops her stuff off at her locker. Her first 2 classes are no big deal but seem to go so slow and drag forever. 3rd period biology is even no big deal after having missed it yesterday. She was hoping to see Casey on her way to class like usual, but no such luck. He has to come back eventually… or she hopes. She’s afraid he’s just going to drop out. He’s been left back once already anyways. And he is almost 18 now.  
She heads back to her locker after class and grabs the rest of her books and then it’s on to study hall. She walks past the main office and is shocked to see Casey sitting there. Well, slumped down in a chair to the point he’s almost not sitting on it anymore- hood pulled up and playing with the tassels on his hoodie. She stops and taps on the glass. He quickly turns his head at the sound and sees her there. He just smirks and points at the principals door.  
She nods, understanding he’s either in trouble or trying to get out of it. She’s hoping it’s the latter. The bell rings and she needs to go. She points down the hall, he understands and nods and waves her off. She waves back and motions and mouths for him to call her later as she runs off. 

He gets called in to talk to the principal and the school counsellor about all of his absences and how if they continue it’ll be summer class or repeating 11th. Plus how his current grades need to improve significantly if he wants to move up to senior year and stay on the hockey team, right now he’s on academic probation and on the bench.  
He can go to practices but can’t play any games till he’s at at least a 70 average in ALL his classes.  
His attitude, his appearance, his future… Blah, blah, blah.  
Casey just sits there and listens. He’s heard it all before at home, at school, it’s always the same BS.  
Then it’s on to his favourite ‘the is everything ok at home’ portion of the talk…  
“just flippin’ dandy” he replies with a smirk as he clicks and plays with the pen he picked up off the desk at the start of the meeting.  
That’s met with scowls…  
then the ‘you know if you need to talk’ segment of the conversation… at which point he’s had enough and asks if he can be excused as he gets up and just leaves, not waiting for an answer, slamming the door behind him on the way out.  
April sits in study hall doing the english reading assignment she never finished last night.  
She feels her phone buzz. They’re not supposed to use their phones in school but she sneaks it out of her pocket and hides it behind her book hoping it’s Casey.  
It’s Donnie. 

Patroling tonight- you want to come along?

Can’t- grounded… till next Friday

Kirby really grounded you for a week?  
Do I ask what happened? Was Casey involved?  
Of course he was- what’d he get you into?

It’s fine

Everything ok? 

Yes

Anything I can help with? You want to talk?

Can’t- in class

April, you know you can still tell me anything, right?

Yes Donnie- thank you :) but later 

She puts her phone away and goes back to her reading.  
The rest of her day goes even slower. She looks for Casey at lunch but he’s nowhere to be found- she texts

Hey Case, gonna join me for lunch?

He doesn’t answer her text either when she asks if he wants to join her.  
He doesn’t show for their english lit class 7th period either.  
School ends and she waits for him at his locker but he’s still a no-show. She sits and writes a quick note for him 

Missed you at lunch and in lit, call me later ok :) April 

She shoves it thru the top openings in his locker and heads home.  
Casey had left right at the start of lunch- he’d had all he could take. He hates school. He’s never going to use any of this crap. Who the f’ cares about things that happened in 1883?! Or what the square root of 3136 is?! Sure as fuck not Casey Jones…  
He heads back toward his place in the sewers. As he turns into his alley, his phone buzzes-  
He takes off his backpack and drops it on the ground- he sits on the curb next to it and pulls out his phone; it’s Raph

Heard you got April grounded for the next week  
What’d you get her into bro?

No  
who said that

Donnie

F that man  
I told her ta go back ta class

So what ya been doing man- ain’t seen you around

busy doing my own thang

Not more of that solo vigilatey BS  
You know you’ve had ape worried?

 

Casey knows that and it hurts, but he needed to be alone... hide... and he really doesn’t want to get into this with Raph, not right now... Or fuck that-- ever.  
If it was that hard to talk to Ape, Raph would be just as bad to have a heart to heart with. Plus he’s not sure you can have those with Raph. He finally texts Raph back. 

 

She reals on house arrest fer the next week

That’s the word on the street

damn

So you n’ me- take down some street scum later

Booked tonite bro n’other time k

You ok man, you into something you shouldn’t be

Nah s’all good

Alright, but I’m not believing that. Come by the  
Lair and hang. Mikey’s got some new  
Show he’s wanting us all to watch 

Might just take ya up on that  
L8r raph

 

He sees the text he missed, or ignored, from April from earlier- he feels bad for ignoring her again.  
He puts his phone back in his pocket and climbs down the grate and disappears underground.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m such trash for this show and these 2 kids

April sits in her room listening to music and playing around on her computer.  
She hates to not be busy anymore. She hates the silence. It lets her mind wander. It lets her mind try to take back over. She’s tired of fighting. She’s tired of fighting it… she’s tired of fighting and losing more and more control each time.  
She can handle the ‘spidey sense', the telekinetic psyonic weird psychic stuff.  
It’s everything else she can’t, cause that’s the part she actually liked and wants back.  
The power.  
The control.  
The invincibility.  
No one talks about it. And no one asks.  
It’s like they all try to pretend nothing happened.  
That they didn’t see the worst side of her come out in all it’s glory, and worst of all- that she let it, she chose it, and that she liked it.  
And if it wasn’t for all of them…- she wouldn’t be here.  
They loved her enough to actually fight her… and take her down.  
Especially, Donnie… she still has a hard time looking at him. She almost killed him (Is it still killing if you bring them back?) and he still just held her and wouldn’t let go till she listened to what he had to say.

His words still sting.

They needed her, they weren’t going to lose her, and not like this.  
He loves her... 

He loved her (maybe still does, he’s backed off a lot)… she loves him too… just not in the way he wants. Not in the way he loves her.  
She shakes her head and pushes that all away as far as she can. She shuts her laptop and lays on her bed and starts sketching in her journal. Her phone buzzes. She picks it up and flips it over. It’s a Text from Casey. 

heard i got ya locked up  
sorry red

Casey sits on his bed- propped up against a mound of blankets, as he finally texts April back.

It’s ok. And it wasn’t you. Remember, my choice.  
How are you doing? You ok?

yeah fine

I looked for you at lunch, Lit class... 

i tried to do it but i had to bail  
schools so not my gig

Your meeting go ok?

yeah usual bs  
flunkin everthin on verge of gettin kickd outta skool  
on probation n on the bench fer now

Can I help? 

nah s’all good i can always pull it off last second  
crackerjack timing 

I hope so

kirby know it was causa me huh

Kinda, he knows I ditched to help a friend and that would pretty much leave you

Uh thanx.... he h8 me more now

no, but he does think you’re on drugs

fuck that Im crazy but not that crazy  
Theres enuf shite in my life I don need that  
Crap 2  
XX I b straight edge

I know. Dad knows nothing, so he’s guessing-  
I told him he was wrong

good I think

Better than his other guess that we’re...

we’re...?

He asks back curiously, and waits. He sees the ‘…’ of a reply being typed, but nothing comes through. He waits... and waits... 

what?

He finally texts back. April blushes just remembering that conversation with her dad and can’t think of how to clarify that. She turns even brighter red just trying to think of a way. Even if she did, she doesn’t know if she could get herself to text those words.  
Casey sits with his lanky legs pulled up and his arms resting on his knees; he stares up at the ceiling of the subway car trying to think of what she meant. Then it hits him!

oh god  
i can never look at kirby again :O  
he thinks im bonin his daughter

Oh that’s nice… Crass, Jones!  
That’s gonna be your new name  
If you keep talking like that, Crassy Jones

April smirks to herself, proud of her silly pun and glad and relieved that he figured it out. 

im guessin im not allowed over  
fer study sessions anymore :P

I told him he was wrong- again

tell him im on the drugs  
so he wont give me horrible looks

Ha! I thought that same thing right after  
He and I had that talk and I  
Rushed to get out of the room

 

Radio silence…

 

You really doing ok? 

dont u worry red casey jones has got this

He really doesn’t want to talk about his situation right now... he changes the subject. 

so whatcha up to on yer first nite of house arrest

Nothing. Going to hang out with dad tomorrow and Sunday.  
Run some errands, go to the museum 

kirby there now

Yeah

sorry i gots ya in trouble red  
u wants me to come over keep u company  
we can study bio

I don’t believe that for a moment  
Wait! you’re not even in biology  
You just wanna rile up my dad now, smart ass!

Though she does wish he could come over and hang out. It would make her feel better- she’d know he was being safe and not getting in trouble... not getting hurt...  
She’s missed hanging out with him.  
The nights they stayed up talking at the farmhouse, the pizza shoppe hideout, the bridge on the Ulixes (Fugitoid’s ship). He’s the only one who slightly understands and she can talk to about stuff. And she hates the thought of him alone in the sewers. He texts back. 

at least part a me is smart

She sighs as she reads this and shakes her head annoyed at him.

You are, you just need to stick to it.  
I don’t know why you give up on school so quick?  
You don’t give up on anything else

how bout we skip the book stuff n  
just giv kirby sumthin ta wonder bout then :P

He wishes he could just go hang out with her. It’s lonely down in the tunnels. He misses April and the all the time they used to be able to spend together.  
He misses his lil sis too… even her getting underfoot and the constant questions and yammering… his lil shadow...  
Being down there just serves as a reminder for the mess that his life has become… is.  
April texts back. 

changing the subject again I see  
I’m holding you to our study days this  
Week though. We’re going to get you off  
Probation and off the bench if it kills me

it might just but k red u got it  
u sure yer good fer tonite

Yes

u change yer mind let me know  
Still thinkin is all my fault

No, it’s not and I’m fine. You take care of you. Okay?

no worries there

Glad you don’t have any

cmon red not fair

Sorry, you have a good night. Be safe...  
I’ll talk to you later ok?

nite 

Casey puts down his phone, gets up off the bed and turns on his stereo with some music; he pops open a can of soda, takes a deep swig and starts to clean up- well kinda... the comics spread everywhere around him into a pile on the end of his bed, and clothes into a sort of neater pile on one of the benches, trash actually into a trash bag.  
April puts down her phone and gets her nail polish remover and some cotton balls and sits back down at her desk and starts to take of her old polish. She finishes and goes and takes a shower- she heads back to her room in her jams (a pair of blue plaid flannel bottoms and a vintage looking Hawkins AV club henley tshirt she’d just gotten. She and all the guys had just recently finished marathoning both seasons of Stranger Things and she couldn’t pass up the shirt when she saw it) she stands by her bed and dries off her hair with a towel. She drops the towel on the floor and sits back down at her desk and opens her laptop. She puts on a new episode of the x-files as she starts to file her nails. 

-))Spidey-sense((-

She hears a faint rustle by the window. She stops and listens but, silence. She goes back to her nails. She hears a sound again. She puts the file down and gets up and walks over to the window. She brushes the curtains aside and peers out, nothing. She shrugs and starts to walk away. 

-))Spidey-sense((-

She quickly runs back and opens the curtains and opens the window.  
The blast of chilly air that greets her, catches her off guard and she quickly wraps her arms around herself.  
She leans out apprehensively and looks around.  
A small box sits on the fire escape outside- it's spray painted with bright colours and her name written across the top in thick sharpie. She picks the box up and sets it on the window ledge. She pulls the box-top flaps apart and opens it.  
Inside sits a pile of comics, a 6 pack of grape soda, and a large bag of strawberry Twizzlers.  
She just smiles.  
“Casey?” she calls out quietly. But there’s no answer.  
She climbs out on the fire escape and looks down into the alley.  
“Case?” she calls out again- still no answer.  
She puts her hands up to her temples and closes her eyes and “scans”. She thinks she can sense it’s Casey nearby, it’s the weird unidentifiable blurriness she’s started to associate with him. “I know you’re still there.” she says.  
He reluctantly steps out from behind a dumpster.  
“not fair, goin’ all jean grey on me there, red.”  
“what’re you doing?” she asks.  
“I felt bad gettin ya in trouble. Thought I’d try ta make good by ya.”  
She wraps her arms tight around her torso to try and stifle her shivering.  
“it’s freezing out there, come in and get warm.” she says.  
“no way! I ain’t bout ta get caught in yer room, while we’re sposedly up ta no good ta begin with- n’ yer already on probation... D’ya ferget kirby’s here too! Hell no!”  
She just smiles. “get up here jones.” she says pointing to the landing.  
“Yes ‘mam.” He says jokingly up at her.  
He puts his backpack on and climbs up.  
They both climb in and she shuts and latches the window and fixes the curtains.  
April picks up her towel from the floor and goes and sits back down at her desk. She turns up the volume on the show she was watching on her laptop to help drown out their voices.  
Casey takes off his backpack and jacket and tosses them on the floor on the far side of her bed, out of view. He puts the box of goodies on her bed and takes the contents out.  
He pulls off 2 cans of soda from the 6-pack and places the rest down on the floor. He opens one for him and the other for her- placing it down on the desk beside her. He flops down on her bed.  
She grabs the bag of twizzlers and opens it up. She takes out a whip and bites the ends off and sticks it in her can of pop. She grabs another whip and slowly begins to nibble it down. Casey just watches her intrigued and quizzically.  
“what?!” she asks.  
“I’ve never seen anyone do that before.” he says pointing at her makeshift straw.  
“I’ve been doing this since I was a little girl.” she says with a slightly embarrassed smile as she takes a drink through the twizzler straw.  
She tosses a twizzler at him and he catches it and just takes a big bite off it.  
“you didn’t have to do this. It’s not even like a real punishment. I’m gonna be with my dad for the rest of the weekend. I would have been fine.”  
“enh, I know, but I wanted ta.”  
“thank you.” she says with a smirk.  
They sit and watch the last of the X-Files episode she had on and eat twizzlers and drink soda.  
“you’re turn.” she says pointing to her computer. “what do you want to watch next?” she asks Casey.  
“I should go, don’ wanna push my luck.”  
“it’s not that late. And it’s fine. Dad always goes to bed around this time anyways.”  
He nods and gets up and searches and eventually puts on one of the Old Lone Wolf and Cub movies. April gets up and sits at her desk, pulls out a bottle of nail polish and starts painting her toenails and then starts on her fingers. She starts to paint her right hand and gets all frustrated.  
“I’ve never been able to do the ones on my right hand without messing most of them up.” she says annoyed and exasperated. Casey gets up and sits next to her.  
“here, lemme do it.” he says. He gently takes her hand and paints each of her nails. He finishes and she holds up her fingers and takes a look.  
“not bad.” she says looking up at him with a bit of surprise.  
“I do have a lil sister.” he says with a smirk, yet slightly embarrassed.  
April blows on her nails to help them dry.  
“second coat and a glossy taco?” she asks him holding her hands out to him.  
“A glossy what?!” He asks her.  
“A glossy taco... a glossy topcoat. Christine from simply nailogical calls it that.”  
He just shakes his head at her as he grabs her hand and starts the next coat.  
“ok, your turn.” she says after her nails have dried.  
He just looks at her not knowing if she’s joking or being serious.  
“c’mon.” she says as she holds up a jar. “it is black.”  
“go fer it, my hands are covered in paint half the time as it is, n’ it wouldn’t be the first time I had em’ painted...” He says as he holds out his hands to her with a smirk. She notices that he’s not lying. His fingers and the fingerless mma gloves he always wears are covered in fresh paint splatter. She looks up at him.  
“I had to decorate the box for you.” he says. She giggles.  
She paints the nails on his pinky and thumb on his left hand and the pinky, pointer and thumb on his right. It’s all that’s really needed for ‘throwing horns’ or ‘hang loose’ after all.  
“The girls in my art class last year used to paint my nails all the time. You shoulda seen the shite they painted. ” He says laughing as he inspects her work. 

*knock, knock, knock*

They both jump at the sudden knock on her bedroom door. April quickly claps her hand over Casey’s mouth and motions ‘shhh’ with her finger to her lips. She and Casey’s eyes are wide in pure fright as they stare at the door.  
“April, I’m heading to bed dear. Do you need anything?” asks her dad.  
“no dad, I’m fine. Goodnight.” she replies very quickly and in a higher pitched voice than her usual.  
“don’t stay up too late ok?”  
“yes dad.”  
“I love you.”  
“night dad.”  
“you mad at me?”  
“no dad, it’s fine. I’m fine. I love you.”  
“night sweetie.”  
Casey darts his eyes between the door and April, who does not remove her hand from his mouth, while she still motions ‘shhh’ with her finger on her lips. After what feels like an eternity April slowly lets off, removing her hand and Casey breathes out and sighs.  
“Phew...” says April. “I swear I just about had a heart attack.”  
“Holy fuck that was close!” Says Casey. “Yer Dad scares me, n’ I’m not sure the last time sum’fin scared me that bad... like not even shred head.”  
April giggles “big bad Kirby.” She gently touches each of Cases’ nails to check if they’re dry. “You’re good to go.” She says as she pats him on the knee and gets up and goes over to her bed and lies back against the pillows.  
Casey follows and flops back against the pillows next to her. They watch the last of the movie in silence.  
“I’ve missed this. You and I just hanging out.” she says.  
“me too.” says Casey. “N’ I don’ wanna, but I should really go. It’s gettin’ late.” he goes to get up.  
“no, stay- please...” she says.  
He just looks at her. The way she said that and the look on her face, he knows there was more behind that request and he knows if he asks she’s not gonna answer.  
“ya sure?” He asks.  
“yeah, it’ll be like old times, an impromptu sleepover, like up at the farmhouse or the Ulixes.” she says. She really doesn’t want him to go, she's missed having him around, and again she’ll know he’s safe and ok. And maybe it’ll help block out the dreams and the quiet.  
“unless this’ll get you in trouble with your dad or something?” she thinks suddenly.  
“nah, I’ve nowhere ta be n’ no curfew. You wants, I’ll stay then red. ”  
She smiles and gets up and goes to her closet and pulls out her favourite Shawn of the Dead tshirt and tosses it to him(he knew this shirt, best part was that the shirt said 'you've got some red on you' and oh did Casey wanna make a snide-ass smarmy comment about how much he wanted that: but he bit his tongue) she also grabs him a pair of grey flannel pj pants from her dresser and tosses them at Casey as well.  
He just looks at them and then up at her. “not sure these’ll fit me red.” he says.  
“jones, you’re a twig, you’re probably actually smaller than I am. They’ll fit. And the pants have always been too long and I’ve had to roll the bottoms. And if not then you’re just gonna be wearing capris.” she says with a slight giggle.  
“I’m gonna go take out my contacts and stuff. I’ll be right back.” she unlocks the door and sneaks out shutting the door again silently behind her.  
Casey gets up and quickly changes, and she was right. The shirt and pants fit him perfectly. It’s also nice to be wearing some clean clothes. He hasn’t had a chance to go to the laundromat (or at least that’s the story he’s convinced himself of) and has been wearing the same clothes way more than usual.  
He sits down at her desk and starts scrolling through Netflix and Hulu categories and movies trying to find something to watch next.  
He hears the door click and looks up as April sneaks back in and locks the door behind her.  
She has her thick, black-rimmed glasses on. He just looks at her and smiles.  
“hey, don’t make fun of me!” she says noticing him looking at her.  
“sorry, I forgot you wore glasses. They’re cute on you.” he says with a grin.  
She punches him gently on the shoulder and then instantly regrets it and feels bad about it.  
“oh, i’m so sorry Case-…”  
“s’all good red.” he says, cutting her off. He gets up and goes and sits back on the bed against the pile of pillows.  
April takes her laptop off the desk and sets it at the foot of her bed and climbs on the bed herself. She lays down on her stomach and starts scrolling, looking for something to put on.  
She finally settles on Doctor Strange (yet again... she’s watched this like a dozen times recently) She lifts her laptop off of her duvet (it's her favourite duvet- yellow and white and grey with skulls of the same colour hidden in the pattern). She always keeps it folded at the foot of the bed- she pulls it out from under her laptop, setting the computer back down. She pulls the duvet up and over them. They both slide down a bit and and lie silently in the bed and just watch the movie. April slowly rests her head on his shoulder. Casey sighs and finally let's himself relax. He needed this more than he knew. April as well.  
They just watch together in silence enjoying the company and security and familiarity they both needed so badly in their lives right now.  
He wonders if she put this movie on for a reason.  
She’d asked if he had any of the comics she could borrow (he did and had put those in the box he’d brought over earlier). He didn’t even think she liked, let alone read comics.  
Casey feels April's head nod as she falls asleep on him. He reaches over and takes off her glasses and puts them on her night stand. He gently shifts her so her head is more on his chest and shoulder and wraps his arm softly around her.  
Way more comfortable for both of them this way.  
He leans his cheek against her head and closes his eyes. He's asleep almost instantly. 

 

*knock, knock, knock*

They are both jolted from sleep by the knocking on her bedroom door.  
"April, are you up?"  
Says Kirby as he tries the doorknob.  
April quickly bolts up, confused and out of it, as she fumbles and grabs for her phone and looks at the time.  
"Shit!" She mutters under her breath quietly.  
"Dad! I... Musta slept through my alarm... Sorry... I'll be right out." She replies.  
"Ok, we need to leave in about 20 minutes."  
"No prob dad, I'll be ready in a minute."  
Casey just lies there holding his heart as he laughs silently.  
“Again...?!” He says as he breathes out hard  
She flops back down next to him.  
“fuck…” she says as she rubs her hands over her face trying to wake up.  
"yer gettin’ a potty mouth on you there O'Neil!" Casey scolds her.  
“Well I learned it from you.” She jokes.  
"Thank god you locked the door, Kirby prolly woulda dropped had he walked in n' found me here in yer bed." he says with a huge smart-ass grin, now finding the humour in the situation.  
"Shhh! He could still be outside the door" she says as she grabs her pillow and swings it at his face. He grabs it and curls up on it, still half asleep and not wanting to get up.  
April gets up and grabs some clothes.  
She looks at Casey and clears her throat.  
He gets it and turns and covers his head and eyes with the extra pillow she’d flung at him.  
He's a gentleman and doesn't peek- though he truly wants to. He is a teenage boy after all, and this is April and she’s beautiful and fit.. but again, this is April and he wouldn't do that to her.  
She quickly gets dressed, and pulls the pillow off his head. He watches as she brushes her hair and pulls it up in a quick ponytail. He’s never tried to get his up in a top knot man bun thing. It’s probably long enough but he wouldn’t know how.  
"Sorry. Forgot Dad wanted to get an early start on the day.” She says as she quickly puts on some lip gloss in front of her wardrobe mirror. “You can hang here if you want. We won't be home till probably after dinner." She sits on the edge of the bed, pulls on her boots and jumps up. "I gotta go!" She says in a flustered whirlwind as she grabs her bag and phone and sneaks out the door, closing it behind her.  
Casey just lies there.  
He can hear the muffled voices of April and her dad talking in the kitchen- dishes shuffled about, and mmmm he smells coffee.  
He misses stuff like that... the way his family was- his dad, mom, him, his lil sis.  
He misses when it was him and April and the guys and their thrown-together ragtag family.  
Cooking, training, hanging- Ribbing on one another, laughing, all the shite you take for granted.  
He grabs the pillow back over his head and rolls over and closes his eyes and tries to block all of that out.  
It can never be that way again.  
He holds the pillow even closer as he falls back to sleep.  
He wakes an hour or so later and hears the faint buzzing of his phone.  
He crawls out of April's bed and digs through his pile of clothes on the floor, searching for which pocket it was he had left his phone in. He lays back down.  
He has a bunch of missed texts from April. 

 

I left my coffee mug on the counter, if you wanted some

you can use my bathroom/shower, dad never goes in there, extra towels under the sink  
just make sure you leave no signs anywhere in the apartment that you were there

I'll warn you when we're on the way back home

 

He still just lays there.  
He should get up.  
He hasn't had a shower in days.  
But first things first. 

Coffee

He opens the door of her room and sneaks out to the kitchen. He sees her rainbow cat mug sitting on the counter. He pours himself a mug from the coffee pot and heads quietly and quickly back to her room.  
It's all very surreal.  
He's a stowaway in April's house.  
He spent the night at her place... In her room... In her bed... With her!  
He’s wearing her jams...  
Have told him something like that months ago and he woulda decked you for messing with him. But it wasn't like 'that'. They needed each other right now in a way they didn't know how to express and cause of things they didn’t know how to, or were just plain avoiding having to deal with. 

Donnie’d go mental if he knew too :P

He sits on the edge of the bed and sips at his coffee. He leans over and tries tapping on the space bar on her computer, trying to get it to come back on so he could watch something as he wakes up. No go, musta died overnight. He picks it up off the bed and brings it over and plugs it in at her desk.  
Oh well… he finishes his coffee and sneaks back out of her room and to her bathroom. Makeup and lotions and body sprays and stuff litter the shelf under the mirror, right above the sink.  
Hair dryer, flat iron, brushes, comb, gel, leave-in conditioner… gah! So much stuff.  
He opens the cupboard doors: big, fluffy, soft, yellow towels stacked under the sink just as promised.  
He strips down to his skivvies and stands back up in front of the mirror and pulls off his bandana. He runs his hands thru his hair to quickly brush it and lifts his bangs and looks at the scars that cross his forehead. He runs his fingers across them and shakes his head as he lets his bangs fall back down to re-cover them.  
He stands there and looks at all the other bruises and scars on his body. The scar on his hip (clipping a car mirror while skating), the scar on the side of his stomach that looks like the Cheshire cat’s grin (that was from getting caught on the barbed wire on top of a fence he was hastily scaling… long story), the one on his shoulder from when he was a kid and thought he could jump his bike over the dumpster in the alley with the ramp he’d made, (spoiler)… he couldn’t; and not only dislocated it but got the scar to remember the moment by, the long thin pale scar that ran across his pec from some encounter or run-in or incident he couldn’t even pinpoint anymore, and the dozens of others long since forgotten and fading away along with the memories of them.  
He’s a mess.  
He starts the shower, drops trou, and climbs in and under the hot water.  
He forgot how good that can feel.  
He’d been taking the fastest showers ever in the school locker room, and only when he absolutely had to- he could care less about the lack of privacy part; they never got hot enough and he hated the way the floors always seemed to be covered in a weird slimy film. Gross! (yes, the showers in the lair way down in the sewers were better than the ones at school).  
He just lets the water hit his face and run over him. After a minute he turns and hangs his head, letting the water hit his shoulders and back and run down. He steps forward and shakes the water and bangs from his eyes as he looks at all the stuff she has in there.  
Shampoo, conditioner, hair mask, soap, body wash, face wash, sugar scrub, shaving cream… he had no idea you could possibly need or use that many products.  
A bar of soap wasn’t enough?! (there was even one of those in there as well)  
Oh well, he’s game: he accepts the challenge.  
here goes; Shampoo, rinse, conditioner, rinse, face wash, rinse, sugar scrub was pretty damn cool (he had to read what it was and how to use it) it actually got all the paint and grease off his forearms and hands (not to mention how soft they now felt, not that he was standing there feeling them or nothing), body wash, rinse… he has’ta smell like some kinda fruity tropical drink that comes with an umbrella by now. He laughs out loud at the thought.  
He stands there till the water starts to get cold and then finally gets out and wraps a towel around his waist. He rubs his hand over the steamy mirror. He borrows her comb and runs it thru his hair. He’s surprised when it doesn’t catch at all and glides through his hair all the way to the ends. He brushes his hair till it looks very stylish and dapper, all slicked back and sleek and not in his face.  
Hell, maybe he can clean up after all, he thinks as he looks at his reflection.  
He laughs at that too.  
He shakes his hair and sets it back the way he likes it and puts his bandana back on.  
The bruises on his face have really started to heal and fade away, he figures it’s prolly safe to now; so he slowly and carefully pulls all the butterfly closures off. Everything stays closed and he looks a little less worse for wear with them off.  
He sees all of her makeup and stuff on the shelf. She’s worn more and has been way darker in her choices since they got back from space and especially over the last few weeks.  
He’s by no means complaining, he likes it.  
He’s always been a fan of eye makeup… especially dark eyeliner and stuff on a girl… mmm, hell yes!  
He picks up her black eyeliner and puts a little on. Smudging it around his eye.  
The one that’s not bruised.  
He’s actually pretty good at applying makeup, what with doing his own skeleton face makeup under his mask.  
He dries off and puts the towel back on around his waist. He picks up the jams he used and heads back to April’s room. He tosses the jams on the floor of her closet and looks up at the row of shirts she has hanging there. He starts to flip through them, he had no idea she had so many cool shirts. She only ever seems to wear the same few. He finds a super cool Avengers raglan, he slips it off the hanger and tries it on. It fits him almost perfect, maybe a little snug, but not enough to stop him wearing it.  
“don’ think April’l mind.” he says out loud to himself.  
He puts back on his boxer briefs (they’re black with grey skulls and crossbones) and his jeans. He shoves his old tshirt and hoodie into his backpack. He grabs his deodorant and toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag and goes back to her bathroom. He finishes getting ready and cleans up the bathroom making sure to leave no sign of his presence. He even hangs up her towel on the rack on the wall.  
He goes back to her room and puts his stuff back in his bag. He sits down at her desk and turns back on her computer. He feels a bit weird being here in her room touching her stuff when she’s not here. He sees her journal open on the edge of her desk under some schoolwork. He sees she’s been doodling or sketching or sumthin. He knows he shouldn’t but he wants to see what she was drawing.  
He grabs the book to get a better look at what she was working on. It’s an amazing sketch of the Aeons and the SoulStar and her shard of the SoulStar. He had no idea she could draw like that. He turns back a page. It’s another sketch of the Aeons and the piece of the SoulStar they gave her. Going back, the next page is much the same. The SoulStar, the Aeons… the next page back almost the same…  
“fuck…” says Casey as he sits there looking at page after page of the same stuff.  
She’s been drawing the same stuff over and over and for quite some time from the looks of it. The last time there’s anything different was from right before their encounter with the Triceratons.  
He has no idea what to think… does this help her? Or is she losing to it, is she fading? Is she still using her powers? Is she hiding stuff from them? Is it still corrupting her?  
The Aeons gave her a piece of the SoulStar as a thank you, and to give her power and luck.  
It got the best of her, corrupted her.  
And they almost lost her.  
He knew or at least suspected that she was still struggling. But now he worries maybe she’s not just struggling… and he doesn’t know how to help her.  
He can’t even sort his own shite out. How’s he supposed to help her.  
He needs her.  
This is April though, she’s the rock of the group. She’s the optimist. Maybe he has her wrong. Maybe this is how she’s coping and she’s making it, she’s gonna be ok, she’s got this.  
He sighs. Oh man does he hope so.  
He picks up a pencil from her desk and flips past her last drawing a few blank pages. He just sits there thinking. He sketches something, closes her journal and puts it back where he found it.  
Anxiety and that antsy feeling that makes you want to crawl out of your skin and life, sets in.  
He stands up.  
He needs to get out.  
He needs to walk.  
He needs to go do something.  
He needs to not think about all of this… about April, about his life… he needs release (escape).  
He needs to go crack some skulls. 

He needs to go find Raph. 

He goes and puts on his chucks, and jacket and puts his backpack on. He goes over to the window and opens it and climbs out onto the fire escape. He shuts the window behind him and climbs down the ladder, dropping the rest of the way to the ground. He stands up and straightens his gear and heads towards the lair.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posted fic  
> I don't know how to write or spell and grammar eludes me, so I hope this wasn't too bad to read :P  
> Let me know whatcha think or the things I totally botched and I'll try to fix  
> Hope you enjoyed  
> Till chapter 2...


End file.
